Borrowed Humour- Golf

These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it     with the shadow. ~ Sam Snead       I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a     swimming pool. ~ George Brett       Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a     tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that. ~ Jim Murray       The only sure rule in golf is – he who has the fastest cart never has to     play the bad lie. ~ Mickey Mantle       Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you’re not good at     them. ~ Kevin Costner       I don’t fear death, but I sure don’t like those three-footers for par.. ~     Chi Chi Rodriguez       After all these years, it’s still embarrassing for me to play on the     American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and     he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye. ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez       The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree. ~     Brian Weis       Swing hard in case you hit it. ~ Dan Marino       My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest     can never be mastered. ~ Lord Robertson       Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep     the clubs and the fresh air. ~ Jack Benny       There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different     games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground. ~ Ben Hogan       Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you’re     the best. ~ Jack Nicklaus       The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf. It’s almost a law.     ~ H G Wells       I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers     everywhere except on the course. ~ Billy Graham       If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play at it, it’s recreation. If you     work at it, it’s golf.. ~ Bob Hope       While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake. ~     Henny Youngman       If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf     ball. ~ Jack Lemmon       You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of     them are so rich that neither of their husbands work. ~ Lee Trevino       I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come     up sliced. ~ Lee Trevino

When you can't create, borrow. Lots of brains exist around the world. It would have taken
years to think of all these jokes by oneself!