Continuing with the thoughts in the last posting, here are some more, this time in the form of job profiles.
The IPL Commissioner- A Job Profile
You are expected to 'modi'fy the existing game format, the rules, the timings, in short, everything about cricket. The EQ, or the entertainment quotient, has to be as close to 100% with glitz, glamour, cheerful behavior (particularly of the leaders), whiff on controversies ensuring continuous media limelight. Unexpected winners and losers are a must in as many matches as possible, to keep bookies on their toes. A twitter account is the minimum qualification, as in the case of certain ministries of state.
A Management Guru
You have to spawn a new vocabulary, and a new 'paradigm' which is expected to change the business world forever. A best-seller outlining 10 ways to achieve the largest market share in any business in 1 year, is mandatory. You must wear a three-piece suit even in peak summer, so that your brand value is not eroded, corroded, etc. You must also have a travel itinerary that spans the world, so you can be unavailable for appointment seekers, again enhancing your value through what cine-stars have been practising for ages- being elusive.
A run-of-the mill Guru
These are now perfected recipes. Take 1 ashram on the outskirts of any city with a large population of IT or other rich guys. Mix one measure of robes of any colour. Give gyan in a branded course on anything under the sun, including yoga, pranayam, breathing, or anything Sanskrit-sounding. Throw in a dash of calisthenics on any spiritual TV channel by buying enough airtime, and you are all set. Buy a couple of currency counting machines (or borrow from chief of Medical Council of India) to keep track of the cash. Do some invigorating exercises, after making sure there are no hidden cameras.
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9 comments:
Have not been recently to the interior (or exterior for that matter) in the land of a billion something but source tells me there is also that which comes in a pouch - 'Guru' that is.
Known to cause a buzz in one consuming certain volumes of said beverage.
I thought it came in a bottle- but that is immaterial, if the effect is the same.
Management Guru description and 'Sanskrit-sounding' made me fall from the chair laughing!! :))
The Godman in the out-SKIRT has said "I CHEAT, therefore You are"
thanks, Common man, for your compliments and the summary quote for all godmen.
Sir, this is your IFIM student Nagendra Shenoy, self-branded as Common Man :)
Not bad, Nagendra rebranded as 'Common Man'. You are practising Brand Mgt. quite well.
Thank you Sir. Hope you are doing well. You are still remembered within the students' group.
Most of your topics are very humorous and contrary to your otherwise serious looks :)
Serious, me? Oh, well, I can't change my look. But I can do something about the rest!
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