Kolkata

Visited Kolkata for work over the weekend and was amazed at the unchanging nature of this city. I have been there off and on for the last 10 years, and the more everything else changes, the more Kolkata remains the same. It also remains relatively inexpensive, which is good for the less fortunate, stung by inflation in recent times.

Whether it will follow other cities in India with an IT boom, and consequent changes in lifestyle, only time will tell. I also find the old ambassador taxis a refreshing change from all the modern cars, which look and feel the same. Have I lost it completely? I hope not.

A new Metro line seems to be coming up between Salt Lake and Howrah. Compared to the brouhaha over the Bangalore Metro (as of now non-existent), things seem to be proceeding quietly and smoothly on the project.

IMT Nagpur

Joined IMT Nagpur last week, as the director. An intake of 300 MBA students each year makes it one of the bigger B schools in India, though Harvards of the world are much bigger. IMT Nagpur is the second campus, about 5 years old, while Dubai is the latest. Hyderabad is slated to open in 2011, giving IMT a wide presence.

Driving from Bangalore to Nagpur, about 1050 kms, was an experience in itself. Roads have improved, barring stretches under construction. I made it to Hyderabad in 11 hours, and from there to Nagpur in around ten.

Placement season is on, with the usual hectic interview schedules for students. A nice ambience pervades the campus, reminding me of the IIM campuses, on a slightly smaller scale. I was at Lucknow and Calicut earlier.

Earlier, on my last day in Bangalore, I visited the Book Fair at Palace Grounds, where my autobiography was also on view at the stall of my publisher, pothi.com. Met the entrepreneurs who set it up. Jaya Jha, an IIML alumna and Abhaya, her partner. They set up this innovative Print-on-Demand venture less than 2 years ago, and already have over 150 authors who have published with them.

Karnataka Politics

Yeddy, steady, go seems to be the rallying cry. Only, it is not towards progress, but towards suicide. A party that takes several years to come to power is able to destroy its own government in less than 2 years. Have our parties lost all sense of propriety, shame, and even the will to survive? Reminds me of the time when the Janata Party came to power in Delhi after the infamous emergency in the 1970s. The new government did not even last 3 years. All the common causes evaporated as soon as power got into their hands. Surprise, surprise, Indira Gandhi came back, strong as ever.

Like other organisations (corporate), political parties need to infuse a certain amount of discipline, and at least some common sense into their members, to ensure that at least they complete a term before frittering away a mandate which is earned after a lot of effort, and expense. People deserve a good government.

Modern Diseases

Just some random thoughts about Modern Diseases and their treatment.

1. Don’t Check Ur Mailitis: Strikes many a healthy emailer without notice. Can induce long stays in the real world. Patient recalls only physical world, and tends to forget the unreal, or virtual world. Starts living his first life, to the complete exclusion of his second life.
Treatment: Earlier treatments included mails to the patient announcing he had won 200,000 pounds (the currency, not the weight) in a lottery. This treatment no longer works. A whack on the side of his head (a physical one, actually delivered on the side of his head) sometimes works. A kick in the right place may also be tried as an alternative line of treatment.
Note: A golf club should not be used to administer the treatment. It can land the do-gooder in the cooler for life.

2. Realityshowtitis: This shows up in symptoms like saying to your children after they have brushed their teeth, "your score is...thirty", with a flourish, or saying to your boss in office, "You are eliminated from this company", or saying to anyone at home, "We will meet in the next round", or similar forms of disoriented speech. Serious cases include assuming you are a KBC show host and offering every guest four options of drinks or food, using letters a, b, c, and d before naming them.
Treatment: Blowing up the fuse of the TV set is the best treatment. Asking the patient to sleep for at least eight hours a day reduces the symptoms dramatically. Engaging the patient in some socially useful activity may also help, though if he exhibits reluctance to do so, force or threats may be needed.

3. Twitchyfingers: This is completely unlike the itchy finger, where scratching it is enough to cure. What happens to the patient is he treats anything he sees as a mobile phone keypad or a computer keypad, and starts typing on it. If done on a bald head, it can have hilarious consequences for observers, but not for the one with the head.
Treatment: There is no known cure for this, except to try to convince the patient that he is living in the year 1984, when computers and mobile phones did not exist. Giving him a gun may lead him to ape Quick Gun Murugan. Mind it.

4. Tiger Woods Syndrome: This is a delusional state where the patient constantly plays superb golf strokes in the air. Symptoms are similar to those found in the Tendulkar Syndrome and Beckhamitis (except that this affects the foot). He is under the illusion that he is Tiger Woods.
Treatment: The most effective treatment is to take the patient to the woods, and show him a real tiger, uncaged. While running for his life, his health will rapidly return to top form, and after recovery, he may perform well in athletics, at least.

5. Husbanditis: This manifests itself as deafness in BOTH ears when there is mention of any household work, responsibility, etc.
Treatment: This affliction is incurable, once a person becomes a husband. Vaccination through an ‘anti-marriage brainwash vaccine’ is the only preventive measure available.

Comedians as Heads of State

 Seriously (!), it's not such a bad idea. We already have the Ukrainian Prez., the Punjab C.M. and in the past, Trump and Bush (OK, not ...

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